Everything I've Known
by Angel May Cry
Summary: This is a songsific to the song by KoRn. Its mainly about Seras struggling . It didn't come out that great, but I gave it a try.


_"Everything I've Known"  
_

It's been one year. One year since he transformed the young Seras Victoria into a vampire. It was the exact minute when he bit into her soft skin. She sat on the steps of the Hellsing manor, her new home. She was thinking. Thinking about what she has become. She was just like a human still, she had thoughts, feelings, a body, things such as that. Still, she was not a human and couldn't be ever again. Regret. Redemption. It was not the right choice, she could not adapt to being a vampire. Or just not yet at least. __

  


_Away, I see it's going down  
Today, Hoping in time,  
Will bury all this pain  
And will awake something inside  
_

She still hated the fact that she had to drink blood. It was still horrifying. It was so immortal and blasphemous. And she could barely see day light that she used to love so much. She could never bare her eyes to the warm sunlight. Even her touch to silver, how it diminished, it made her feel the need to cry. But crying was a human, thing it wouldn't feel right to cry. She pressed so hard not to let the tears fall. She would be like this forever. Crying could do nothing. Then she remembered his voice. Her master, Alucard.__

_   
__We pushed our buttons far inside   
We tear our hearts out  
then we fight  
_

She fought by his side. Destroying her own kind and undead slaves. This was not what she expected. This is what she existed for now, undoubtedly. Even though the battle with Incognito gave her some type of encouragement, she grew as vampire, she had gotten more powerful, and how she respected what she had to do and felt it in her veins, when it ended, watching Integra Hellsing in a jail cell seemed like a punishment for making her go through all of this undead soldier business, rather than accusation of terrorism. It was almost torture to be this way. __

  


_Hey, I know feels like I lost everything  
That I've known, I cannot survive alone  
It feels like I lost everything that I've known  
_

Sometimes, she wanted to run away from it all. She wanted to just forget about Integra, forget about Alucard. She wanted to so bad. Still, she couldn't, she didn't know most of what she was. Deep into her thoughts, in between all of this, the same thing kept coming up. Humanity. Lost forever. How she wished to be human again.  


__

Our lives, were good in every way  
Too late, time after time  
Our love just turned to hate  
but we stayed by each others side

  


She missed her old life. It was hard of course, compared to now, it was so simple. She enjoyed being a police officer and helping others. Sure, she did help others as a vampire, its different. She envied all of the people she saw everyday and wherever she went. It was cruelty. She lost everything she ever wanted.__

  


_We pushed our buttons far inside   
We tear our hearts out  
then we fight_

She would never be able to get married, to travel all around and see the world, go out and have fun. She would never get to have a family, never be able to have rights, never be free or even to be who she wanted to be. She would never experience so much and feel so much that she wanted since she was a child. She had to deal with all of this intensity upon her. If only...of only she could die. But she was dead. If only she couldn't exist anymore.__

  
  


_Hey, I know feels like I lost everything  
That I've known, I cannot survive alone  
It feels like I lost everything that I've known  
  
I keep holding on, I feel I'm where I belong  
Every time we fight, it feels so wrong  
I feel so enslaved fuck my pride  
Then we meet again_

Seras stood up, slowly walking back into her chamber. A cell, a dark and ugly place, fit for an animal. It forced more depressing emotion on her. She laid down in the coffin. Sickening. She couldn't even have a bad. She just let the tears flow, no one could stop her from crying. Then Alucard was standing at the coffin's side. He looked at Seras, his fledgling. He remembered, that even he felt the same at one point. Possibly not to this extent. He remembered how it felt to feel like having everything stripped from your soul. No one was there for him, he was there for her. He would always be there for her. She could always have a shoulder to cy on, a friend, and recognition that she isn't alone. The memory of him being alone after he turned into a vampire touched him. He could seem like he doesn't have feelings, that was never true. He was treated the same way. When he was enslaved by Hellsing it was terrible. When he met Integra, things changed so much. For Seras, he would comfort her. Any being that has emotions and thoughts needs someone. She would always have him right there, even if she drank his blood.  
_  
__We pushed our buttons far inside   
We tear our hearts out  
then we fight  
  
Hey, I know feels like I lost everything  
That I've known, I cannot survive alone  
It feels like I lost everything that I've known_

"Its ok police girl...Seras Victoria. I know your in a time of depression and heavy emotions, I was too years ago. I will never leave you to wander without anyone. Nothing can ruin our bond, don't worry."

"M-Master Alucard..."

"Please, drink my blood. Be free."

"I can't. I want to be like this. I'm afraid."

"I will never leave your side, Seras. You will never be alone."

"I-I..."

"Sh. Please. You can have a new existence. Almost a new...life."

" I don't understand."

"I promise, things can get better. Only you are keeping yourself from it."

"I don't wanna loose everything I've known."

"You won't. You will know more and so much more to come."

"Please don't leave me. I know you are a servant to Sir integra. I'm afraid that you'll choose her over me." 

"I am her servant. Integra and I have something very special. So do we. In some senses, she is more important. Not under any circumstance, would give me the reason to never be there for you and only Integra. There is so much ahead of you this way. This same night one year ago, you lost a lot of what you knew. This night, gain back new essences to help make up for what you lost. Will you drink my blood?"

"Yes. For everything I've known." 

~I don't own Hellsing or Korn or anything belonging to either 

Note: I really tried very hard on this. I know it didn't come out too good, but I did the best I could. 

  



End file.
